Thursday, April 21, 2011

blah, blah, blah...

The following writings is slightly negative and mainly just a way for me to release some frustrations.  Read at your own discretion.

Breathe in, breathe out... breathe in, breathe out.

That's what I struggle to remind myself.  To take deep individual breaths and realize that life is... well, life.  I have been tested lately- from every angle of life's struggles.  From my camera malfunctioning and needing to save in order to purchase a new machine, to my computer's keyboard being reprogrammed (I love you, baby girl!, but you aren't quite ready to play on Mommy's comuter), to being bed ridden for 3 days with an extremely painful pulled muscle in my back, to multiple doctors visits for my Bug to rule out some sort of virus that causes... well, I think that's TMI, to some other serious personal issues that tend to be a constant battle in my mind.  
It's so crazy how life throws tests at you- and when it rains, it pours.  I need to remember... there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  It may be a long one, but it's there and I won't give up.

Part of my issues are due to postpartum (I have never once admitted that on my Blog).  I've got a good case of depression.  It is partially due to the changes and stresses of being a Mommy (I wouldn't change it for a thing), but also has to do with my pregnancy story.  I'm gaining the confidence to possibly write about it on Utah Baby Blog.. stay tuned for my extremely revealing story.  I'm beginning to learn that others can relate to my story, and I love that I can possibly reach out to help other Mommies.  But, as I said... I need to gain the confidence to reveal all, because the puzzle won't be complete unless I share all.
So I continue to remind myself... breathe in, breathe out.  Relax.  Take life one day at a time and thank God for every Blessing in my life.  

I know life could be MUCH worse, and I AM thankful for all I am blessed with.  It just feels good to release, and God Bless my Blog to have a place to do that.


  1. Wow, I would have never guessed you were dealing with PPD. I hope everything is ok right now though!

  2. When it rains, it really DOES pour - I know that all too well. But you are right, this too shall pass! Whatever it may be that is weighing heavily on your mind, and in your life, remembering the simple things always makes me feel a little better...I hope you find some Peace soon! XoXo

  3. Oh goodness, I'm so sorry for all of the things you're dealing with right now! You'll be in my thoughts, girl. And I'm looking forward to reading your story! Love ya!

  4. Thanks for sharing and being real with us so we can encourage you and be here for you! I struggled with severe depression during my pregnancy which was odd and I felt like no one understood or like they thought I was ungrateful. I just couldn't help it. Depression is AWFUL!! My husband has been battling so badly for two years that he recently had to be admitted into a mental health hospital two weeks ago. It is a LONG, hard road so my support and encouragement is with you 100%. It shadows everything with a cloud, takes away joy, drive and zest for life. I'm praying for you every step of the way as you walk through this until you come out victorious!! Many hugs!

  5. know you can call me whenever...I'll be here to listen. XOXOXOXO

  6. Jen, you've been on my mind lately. I haven't been seeing very many posts from you so I pulled up your page and found a couple posts I hadn't read. I'm so sorry that life is raining down on you right now. Just know that each day gets you closer and closer to the end. You are a strong woman and a wonderful mother! Keep your head up Mama!